An Old Thought

4/24/2006-- FILTH

Ugh!! What a filthy, rotten, useless rag I truly am. What good am I in this flesh? This dead, decaying, nasty flesh that devours sin and savors it! I cannot clean myself nor repair my rips. Therefore, I continue in this degrading and worsening downward spiral. My dept grows exponentially.

But I fight, stuggle, and scream knowing I'll never break free; not in my own strength, anyway. I work and work and work and work 'til surely I'll collapse in the next second, but nothing changes. If anything, I'm only in deeper than the moment before. How might I end this spiraling cycle? How will I ever break free? There is nothing I can do!

Hallelujah, What a Savior! I will arise and go to Jesus. He will embrace me in His arms. In the arms of my dear Savior, Oh, there are 10,000 charms!

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9)." "For without the shedding of blood there is no remission (Hebrews 9:22)." Praise the Lord, I am free! According to His lovingkindness and because of the cleansing blood of His perfect Son, I am no longer slave to sin. Now I am a bondservant of my Christ!

I now claim that blood of Christ over my sins. I declare its cleansing promise and claim it over my own life. Father, You promised to forgive my sins if I repent. Therefore, I bow humbly before Your throne seeking Your forgiveness. Forgive me, Father. Please turn me around for Your glory. Change my attitude and my heart to chase solely after You.

Praise God for His great compassion and tender lovingkindness. When I deserve death and hell, He offers life and the rewards of heaven and best of all, Himself!

Thank You, Father, for Your forgiveness. Please allot me strength, wisdom, and conviction to endure temptations to come.

A Psalm of Truth

I found great comfort in this Psalm last night. It is quoted here from the New American Standard Bible on blueletterbible.org.

Psalm 86

1 Incline Your ear, O LORD, {and} answer me;
For I am afflicted and needy.
2 Preserve my soul, for I am a godly man;
O You my God, save Your servant who trusts in You.
3 Be gracious to me, O Lord,
For to You I cry all day long.
4 Make glad the soul of Your servant,
For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
5 For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.
6 Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer;
And give heed to the voice of my supplications!
7 In the day of my trouble I shall call upon You,
For You will answer me.
8 There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord,
Nor are there any works like Yours.
9 All nations whom You have made shall come and worship
before You, O Lord,
And they shall glorify Your name.
10 For You are great and do wondrous deeds;
You alone are God.

11 Teach me Your way, O LORD;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
12 I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my
heart,
And will glorify Your name forever.
13 For Your lovingkindness toward me is great,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of
Sheol.

14 O God, arrogant men have risen up against me,
And a band of violent men have sought my life,
And they have not set You before them.
15 But You, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth.
16 Turn to me, and be gracious to me;
Oh grant Your strength to Your servant,
And save the son of Your handmaid.
17 Show me a sign for good,
That those who hate me may see {it} and be ashamed,
Because You, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

Gazing up at Stars

I thought this song was really cool. I believe it was originally a poem written by a guy who died at the age of 19, but a composer based in G-ville, SC edited it and wrote the music for it. The music was written for a full mixed choir and was sung beautifully by the 2006 SC All-State SATB choir. It's not as good without the music, but it's still pretty neat to think about. The name of the song is "Gazing up at Stars" by Mark Kilstofte. Here are the lyrics.

Gazing up at stars that have long burned out,
I ask myself what this world is really all about.
How beautiful are things that have long since passed
Many million miles beyond, that vanished with one blast
To send the glory of their lives streaming out into the dark,
Showering their light everywhere they embark.

It fills the soul with awe and wonder to see such a sight,
And to know after all those miles they still flicker so bright.
They glow so bravely even after death, one can’t help but be impressed.
The power of their courage cannot be expressed.
To shine so brightly after they are gone,
Still showing to the world how brightly they had shone.

Isaac Ponder
(1982-2001)

[edited by Mark Kilstofte]

When She Searched not Aflame

She searched to find her purpose here,
And searched to find it there.
She looked and looked where'er she thought
A purpose may be sought

She loved to do the things she knew,
A change, she feared, 'tis true.
And yet to find her purpose dear,
She'd brave whatever fear.

Again she searched both near and far,
It seemed to be on guard;
To keep her heart in search of it,
And test each final wit.

Although she scoured every place,
It would not show its face.
She looked in nooks and spots galore,
Then couldn't take it more.

Eventually, she gave up hope.
With this, she could not cope.
Then finally, she was aware
The depth of her despair.

Tired and sad she sat quite still
Then cried and cried her fill.
She could not understand this fate.
Why could life not cooperate?

But while she sat in lull of craze,
Pupose came her way.
It came with silent steps along
To show a path life-long.

"Could it be," she asked herself,
"That purpose came itself?"
She hadn't need to look for it.
It showed one bit by bit.

All was simple now to her.
Why had she made such stir?
Now she knew that purpose came
When she searched not aflame.

Whom Have I?

Whom have I in heaven but You, O Lord? And whom have I under heaven but You? In the midst of this noisy quiet, this crowded loneliness, whom have I? O Lord, You alone are my strong tower and a fortress in the time of tribulation. You work all of this for my good to the glory of Your beautiful name. Though I feel alone, I am never alone.

Lie: I am completely alone. There is no one to which I may run.
Truth: Hebrews 13:5b-- "...for He Himself has said, 'I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.'"

The Value of Truth

What is the value of truth? How much am I willing to pay to stand for the truth? Around 2AM the night before last I startled awake to the end of a dream in which several of my closest friends rushed into the room crying "TRUTH"- one word, as if it were a battle cry. Immediately a verse I had read just before bed flashed into my mind- Galatians 4:16. Here Paul asks the Galatians, "So have I become your enemy by telling you the truth?" As crazy as it sounds, I learned so much from this. I recognized the fact that truth should be our battle cry. Often times, most people, even in our churches, don't want to hear truth. It's scary and makes us uncomfortable. It means we have to change. Because of these fears, when one speaks the truth, he will often be considered the enemy. He will be isolated and ostracized. The truth WILL cost us; it will cost a lot. When we speak the truth, we enter a spiritual battlefield where truth must be our battle cry. No matter what it costs, we have to cling to truth.

Lie: The truth is not worth as much as it will cost me.
Truth: The truth is PRICELESS. Proverbs 23:23a-- "Buy truth, and do not sell it"

Truth

Psalm 51:6 "Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being. And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom."

As this verse reminds us, God desires truth in us. But how do we, in our depraved and sinful state find truth?

John 17:17 "Sanctify them in the truth. Your Word is truth."

Truth is found nowhere else but in the Holy Word of God. The title of this site- "The Pursuit of Truth"- references the search into the only Truth. Any thought introduced here will delve into the Truth of the Scriptures. Therefore, each blog concludes with a statement of the lie (false answer/conclusion) and of the Truth (Scripture passage that counters lie).

Broken Cisterns

How filthy I am! Like the harlot of Hosea who returns to her lovers, I continually return to my broken cisterns. O God, YOU ALONE satisfy the thirst of my soul! Why, then, do I search anywhere else. I have tasted and I have seen! I've been freely given of living water and have known its goodness. Yet again and again I return to my own broken cisterns that hold no water. Again and again, again and again! I act as an adulterous wife who, forgetting the love of her husband runs to embrace her many lovers.

Dear Father, against You and You only I sin! Forgive me for giving glory to anything else for its temporary satisfaction. Forgive me according to the blood of Your Son. You are my great and mighty Redeemer who has saved me from the miry pit of my sin and false search. Only You are good and only you are truth!

Lie: I can satisfy my thirsts with things of the world.
Truth: "O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water." --Psalm 63:1

Alright then... commence

Here goes nothin'... First things first, I am dedicating this site fully to the glory and honor of God and to the precious name of Jesus: my redeemer, my lord, and master of my life.